Thursday, February 25, 2010

Fat Cat Closes Checkpoint at Newark Airport

fat catFat Cat Causes Drama at Newark Airport
NEWARK, NJ - "Too Big to Fail" - A 25 pound cat reportedly freaked out while going through airport security during rush hour on Tuesday, jumping from it's carrier, and then squeezing under a large bomb detection machine where it became lodged in the 4 inch tall space.

The checkpoint soon was closed down, causing havoc at the airport, where people had to be diverted to other checkpoints. The cat eluded security officers who tried in vain to use a snare to capture the large animal.

After 20 minutes, Emergency Services were called in, and a hydraulic spreader had to be used to lift the one-ton bomb detection machine, so that the portly cat could be accessed.

Although the cat's owners missed their flight, they were reportedly "ecstatic" that the large cat had not been harmed. Authorities described the cat as, "tired and relaxed" after all of the drama.

In related news, President Obama has reportedly had trouble confronting fat cats on Wall Street, who continue to endanger our economy. Perhaps a hydraulic lift and snare would work?
fat cat money(File photo of former bailout recipient AIG's CEO Martin J. Sullivan, who accepted a $47M severance package today, after the company reported its biggest losses in 89 years)

1 comment:

InnerNinja said...

Bastard CEO!
In a world of injustice, at least we can laugh at the absurdity of the mega cat clogging up the bomb detection device. Chairman Meow, keep fighting for the starved masses! Your coupons are arrows into the heart of Rupert Murdoch!